Fact in Dalian Part No. 5

Fact: The 'Chinese Burn' that you inflicted on your siblings when you were younger, actually originated in Dalian. 

Turns Out That Ignorance Is Bliss!!

The Chinese are always fun to listen to until you ask them what they're talking about and one of them turns to you and says "um, we were saying that you're fatter".

Nice. Thanks China.

Stinky Tofu

Food hasn't pleased me this much in a long time. And with a title like Stinky Tofu, nor should it. 

Food this good shouldn't get off on the wrong foot with the general public, and it is clearly in desperate need of a new PR representative. Plus some deodorant and a change of clothes wouldn't hurt either. 

Pic 1: The sign. 

Pic 2: The scene. 

Pic 3: Me stupidly enjoying Stinky Tofu. 

Pic 4: Joanne; work colleague, translator and introducer of Stinky Tofu.

Cicada

Today on the way back from lunch we spotted a few girls taking pictures of a Cicada on the trunk of a tree. On closer inspection this creature was massive and sounded more like a chainsaw at work then a insect trying to attract a mate. A colleague, Leu Ann, picked it up without missing a beat and when questioned what she was doing, said, "My son will like this". I didn't ask any more questions, but I'm sure he'll be eating well tonight.

Dance Like Everybody Is Watching

To a Westerner this may look like a Fatboy Slim video clip tribute in the form of a flash mob. To the Chinese though it's their everyday, run of the mill, afternoon gym class.

 

Fact in Dalian Part No. 4

Fact: Pandas are not only a national treasure, they are also formidable badminton opponents. 

Dalian Traffic School

Red traffic lights are merely a suggestion.

Seat belts are for paranoid people and those with brand new cars. Once the car is older than 3 months you should stop using the seat belt. It can get very dirty in a very short period of time. Most people wouldn’t wear a seat belt in a taxi if their life depended on it… which, it does.

The safety of your car is the best place to stare at foreigners. That is unless they’re getting in your taxi. Then you’re better off staring out the front window in the direction you are travelling.

Your horn is the most important instrument in your car. It is your indicator, your brake and your stereo. If the traffic is gridlocked in front of you, you should use your horn in various bursts and sequences until the traffic moves in the direction you desire.  Be persistent, it will work eventually.

Fact in Dalian Part No. 3

Fact: Mung bean icy-poles are not as delicious as they sound.

The Translator

Today I had to explain the following words/saying to one of my Chinese colleagues...

Nazi

Fart

Cracking a fat

Don't ask why.

Tomorrow I will attempt to explain 'two dogs in a bathtub'.

Fact In Dalian Part No. 2

Spitting isn’t just a fun past time; it’s also a national sport. The 2011 Championships will be held from July 15^th to 17^th. 


The Ladies over-45 division again promises to be a highlight. Book your courtside seats now to avoid disappointment.

Name Calling

At my current place of employment 6 out the 120+ staff speak English with any confidence.

Of those remaining staff some speak a very small amount of English. The rest know how to say “Good Morning”, much like I know how to say “Ni Hao”. Those who can speak even a little English though will usually adopt an English name. Most will choose a very common English name, like Eric or Amy, or Kevin or Judy. 

My favourites so far have been Queenie and Dream, which was apparently chosen for her by her boyfriend at the time. Smooth. So, in the interest of embracing my time here with as much vigor as possible, it has been suggested that I now adopt a Chinese name. Ving Vong was floated as a possibility by an Australian work colleague back home, however the final decision has been made and from now on I will be known as Bao Bei (pronounced bow bay). 

Basically it’s a Chinese interpretation of my surname. From what I’ve been told Bao Bei is an affectionate term meaning ‘precious’ or ‘treasure’ or ‘baby’. So it’s appropriate then that even before acquiring this name the staff in my new office actually thought that my name was in fact, Vaughan Baby. 

So far I’ve used my new pseudonym to signed up to play basketball with some of the guys from the office and hopefully next week I can get some business cards made up. At the very least, all my new work colleagues think I have a very nice name.

Lost'n'Found In Translation Part No. 1

Fact In Dalian Part No. 1

Fact: Every Supermarket has an entire isle dedicated to soy sauce. At last count there were 107 different brands and varieties.

Spoils From A Bomboniere From At Chinese Wedding That I Crashed. Nothing Says “Thanks For Sharing Our Special Day With Us” Like Candy And Cigarettes.

Dalian Day One

So after 20 odd days here, let’s get this party started, and what better place to start then at the beginning, day one.

Like most new cities I visit, I find the best way to get a feel for the culture and the people is by going to THE park in that city. 

New York has Central Park, Tokyo has the area surrounding the Meiji Shrine (one park amongst many other amazing public spaces), and Dalian has Labour Park. It lacks nothing in comparison to the previous two, especially when it comes to the sense of awe and beauty it displays. But Labour Park has something that the others don’t. Labour Park also has an integrated amusement/theme park right in the heart of it all. 

Without knowing it you walk from tranquil tree-lined paths into an area with hyperactive children running amok. On first glance it looks like a poor attempt at Disneyland, and to some extent it is, but it’s also so much more. The most popular ride by far is a ride where the “thrill seeker” has to power their “vehicle” around a set of tracks by pedalling it themselves, much like you would a bicycle. The kids loved it. The line was longer than any other ride. And why not, exercise and theme park rides, the best of both worlds really. 

Next was a game where you throw hoops over cages to win prizes. The prizes in the cages that were up for grabs if successful, rabbits and turtles. The rabbits looked like they’d gone sometime since their last piece of lettuce, and the turtles were trying aimlessly to “swim” their way out of the cage. Note: there was no water anywhere near these poor little bastards, except for the nearby kiddies pool which was full of goldfish and surrounded by toddlers "fishing" . 

And finally there was the ride where the parent and their child would sit in a rollercoaster like vehicle (motorised this time) and travel around a track. Simple and seemingly harmless. Except for the fact that each parent and child were holding guns. Guns that shot lasers. Guns that shot lasers at plastic Lions, Care Bears and Dinosaurs. Let that sink in a little yeah… they were shooting lasers at plastic Lions, Care Bears and Dinosaurs. Brilliant. I can only imagine that shooting things earned them points towards something. Maybe they’d win a rabbit or a turtle or a goldfish? Anyway, any ride without a gun is no longer fun in my book. As usual, pictures say it all…